Are All Bus Drivers This Insensitive?
Time for another school bus rant, but this time it has to do with the bus driver of the bus my elementary aged girls ride.
My youngest started Kindergarten this year and while she was more than ready to go, she is a fairly quiet child - one who doesn’t like a lot of commotion (unless she is creating it). Her biggest concern about starting school was eating lunch in the cafeteria. In all the years before she went to school we would visit her older sister and brother and have lunch with them from time to time. The noise level in the cafeteria was enough to make her shut down.
Her second biggest concern was riding the bus. At first she had all the regular Kindergarten fears - missing the bus, not knowing where to sit, and the noise. The bus driver had her sit next to her big sister who is in 4th grade the first few weeks of school and that seemed to do the trick. She suddenly loved riding the bus and convinced me to let them ride the bus home on the days we don’t have afterschool activities.
Until today.
While waiting for the bus this morning she started complaining of a tummy ache and the tears started rolling down her cheeks. Come to find out, the bus driver had switched around the seating arrangement and Miss N no longer was allowed to sit with her big sister, Miss M.
As the bus pulled up I walked up to the door with the girls. I asked the bus driver if Miss N could sit with Miss M. She said, “let me check my seating chart,” and then said, “well, I have them sit in seats in order as they get on, so Miss N will be sitting in the seat in front of Miss M.”
Again, I asked could Miss N sit with her sister. I explained that Miss N was not comfortable with the arrangement and was only 5. Could she just sit with her sister??
Am I asking too much? Why should my child have to sit with some other kid she barely knows rather than sitting with her sister?
Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have had to go at it with this bus driver over less than logical seating arrangements. When Miss M was in 1st grade, the bus driver had her sitting next to a 4th grade boy rather than sitting next to a girl her own age or her own brother.
I am thinking it just might be time for a call to transportation or maybe I just need to drive them to school everyday. ARGH.
So, my readers, what would you do?
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POSTED IN: School Issues
13 opinions for Are All Bus Drivers This Insensitive?
Cathy
Oct 22, 2007 at 8:30 am
Call transportation. We have the transportation department number saved in our cell phones because of the endless stream of bus problems. Driving a bus should require more than a big rig license.
Two Knives
Oct 22, 2007 at 10:07 am
You’re not going to believe this: I was on hold with our transportation services as I read your post. (Mine left a book on the bus.)
Seating charts? Wow. Never heard of them. In any case, I’d call transportation immediately before you have to go through that again tomorrow.
That’s ridiculous!
Tracee Sioux
Oct 22, 2007 at 12:30 pm
We already lost our bus driver. She quit because the kids were too awful.
Bus drivers have to keep order. I would encourage your Kindergartener to be brave and sit in the seat in front of Mrs. M.
As parents, we need to pick our battles. Is this something you can’t live without? Or can you change your child’s fears about the bus? Perhaps she’ll be less scared after a week or two of it. You can encourage her to be brave during the transition period.
Jeri
Oct 22, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I agree with Tracee that bus drivers have a tough job and they need to keep order BUT we all have to have a little flexability. Did she relent and let them sit together or insist they stay apart. Maybe you could observe Miss N. the rest of the week and if she is still upset contact transportation. Please don’t put the extra burden of driving them in on your schedule….
Thrifty Karen
Oct 22, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I don’t think I’d call transportation about it. The bus driver probably didn’t know how sensitive she is.
lani
Oct 22, 2007 at 9:21 pm
If it bothers you that much, I would maybe ask the bus driver what the reasoning was behind the seating arrangement. There’s a chance that she’s not being deliberately unreasonable.
I know that the bus drivers in our town deal with a lot of drama with these kids. There were also problems about kids choosing their seating and then bullying other kids into not having seats. Like when kids that they didn’t like got on the bus, suddenly there were no seats! And most bus drivers will not move that bus until all children are seated. So maybe that bus driver is trying to save a lot of headache?
On the flip side, I have a five year old as well who I’m pretty sure would have a fit if she weren’t allowed to sit with her sibling. In your situation, I would try again to talk to the bus driver. Then maybe you could talk to your little one. If it continues to be a traumatizing event, then maybe you could talk to someone higher up.
Heidi @ Carolin Dreamz
Oct 23, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I believe its a parent’s responsibility to give our children voice, when they can’t speak for themselves *or they won’t*.
As much as a driver needs to keep order, what kind of order is there when a child is traumatized by the seating arrangements? It seems like a very simple problem and you aren’t asking too much.
You aren’t asking for your older child to to sit with her friend. You aren’t asking them to bend the rules for special treatment that is unreasonable.
Best of luck to you.
~Heidi
char
Oct 23, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Here is the latest. The bus driver did not let my daughter sit with her sister even after I had talked with her. Miss N and I talked about why the bus driver has assigned seating and how sometimes you have to just deal with things even if they are how you wanted them. She seemed okay this morning - even though she said she didn’t want to ride the bus.
What irritates me is that she wasn’t willing to take 5 minutes and notice that all my daughter needed on that day was a little bit of extra comfort from her sister. Even if she chose to enforce the seating arrangements on an ongoing basis, the least she could have done was let her sit with her sister on that particular day.
I haven’t called transportation - yet - but I may still.
Gayla McCord
Oct 25, 2007 at 3:50 pm
I’m one of those mothers that I will typically contact the driver/teacher/school staff member regarding the issue and then write a letter to the school Superintendent explaining what I’d done, etc. and copy the staff member on the letter.
Usually that lets the staff member know that I’m not one of those parents that will just sweep it under the rug.
I think everything should have checks and balances and there may be policies that we are not aware of. A simple letter as such may bring them to the forefront and either reveal to the parent how best to handle the situation or show the staff member that they need to find alternatives to what they are doing.
I see NO problem with siblings sitting together. Especially when they’re that young.
Be tough mom!
Tammy P
Oct 30, 2007 at 5:24 am
I can’t think of a single reason why her seating chart can’t have the siblings sitting together. If the chart is according to how the children board the bus, then it should be a no brainer since your children board the bus together.
My daughter is 11 now, so I’ve been picking my battles for 7 years. I would be calling transportation and asking for a reason why your 5yr old is being told she is not permitted to sit with her own sister. It seems an unreasonable and intolerant rule to me.
meme
Nov 6, 2007 at 7:00 pm
As a school bus driver I just had to respond! :) Did you ever for minute think you may be the problem? You did say “Unfortunately, this is not the first time I have had to go at it with this bus driver over less than logical seating arrangements. When Miss M was in 1st grade, the bus driver had her sitting next to a 4th grade boy rather than sitting next to a girl her own age or her own brother.” Go at it? I have never had a parent “go at it” with me. And if they did, I would sit and listen, shut the door and continue on my route. I wouldn’t even respond! I would then have my supervisor contact the parent. I would not tolerate a parent speaking to me like that in front of a bus full of children. I too have a seating chart as instructed by the school district. Seating charts are used in my district in case of accidents or vandals. In our district, we have them seperated by grade, with K at the front. The reasoning is that some have never rode the bus and safety rules must be enforced. The younger children also tend to be the ones that stand up when the bus is moving, try to open the emergency door, hang out of the seats, etc. And yes, I do think your driver was insensitive as well. I had a similar situation last year, 5th grade and K sisters. I did allow them to sit together. The mom never “had a go” with me over it. She polietly asked me. :0 Perhaps Miss M had to sit next to a 4th grader because the seats were filled? Maybe the 4th grader was immature? Maybe your attitude? Maybe next time instead of “having a go” at it with the driver, make your request to the transportation director.
We are human too and have feelings. I could not tell you how many times I have wiped away tears, cleaned up vomit, bloody noses, pee and poop, garbage off the floors, delivered books and back packs to homes on my own time, loaned lunch money that was never returned, heard about parents being arrested, drove the special ed bus for troubled children and heard stories of incest, pre-teen pregnancy, drug abuse you name it. Most people tend to think of us as the scum of the school district. A bunch of fat chicks that hate kids. The majority of the driver’s I work with are college educated, have their own children on the bus with them and like children. I am one of them. I am also 5′7 and weigh 125 lbs.
Lisa Wozniak
Nov 7, 2007 at 5:06 pm
As a school bus driver in a rather large district, they prefer we have a sitting chart for all our routes. I myself have a total of 125 children I transport daily. We use seating charts as a way to recognize children and thier stops. They are usually put in order from K - 5 in elementary with kindergarten in front. One reason for this is because they are small and hard to see. Also,because most need a parent to meet them if they don’t have an older sibling to get off with.(smaller ones tend to fall asleep).The other reason is because although we don’t want to think it, there are alot of bullies on busses. They take advantage of younger children. Along with watching your children while they hit each other and throw things out the windows , jump from seat to seat, we are also required to watch traffic, keep your precious cargo safe, and do it all in rain sleet and snow . By the way for next to nothing in pay. So before you scream about your driver, remember we are trying to keep you children safe even while cars are honking and children sreaming and parents are telling us we are wrong. We are people and we care and we are trained to keep your children safe and for the amount of children we transport in a day we do a GOOD JOB!!!! Yes, I drive a bus that my children ride on to, and I am proud of what I do!!!
char
Nov 7, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Meme and Lisa - thanks for taking time to stop in and share your viewpoints. I just want to clarify that I did not raise my voice in any way to the bus driver. I asked her politely if my daughter could sit with her sister.
My youngest has adjusted to the separation and the new seating arrangement, but I still feel that the driver could have be a little more sensitive to my daughter’s needs on that particular day.
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