Birthday Party Politics
The politics of kids birthday parties can be so tricky! My daughter will be 9 soon and we are trying to decide what to do for her party. In the meantime, Little Miss Social has been invited to two different birthday parties at the same time this weekend. Both girls are pretty good friends. The decision will be tough, but she has to make it.
There is more to the story than just two parties on the same night. A few weeks back, one of the birthday girls - let’s call her Jane, mentioned to Little Miss Social (LMS) that her party was coming up, but LMS was not invited because she could only invite 10 girls. LMS took it at face value and was fine with it.
Last week, LMS got an invitation from another friend - let’s call her Suzy. Suzy has invited LMS over to play many times this summer and LMS gets along with her great.
Two days later, Jane’s Mom pulls me aside and mentions that LMS is invited to her daughter’s party. LMS finds out that the reason is because another friend can’t make it. Now, LMS wants to go to this party because she looks up to Jane since Jane is a year older.
So now I am in a parenting quandary. I want LMS to opt to go to Suzy’s party for two reasons - one being that she got the invite first, but also because Suzy truly wants LMS at her party. I just feel the LMS is second string for Jane and don’t think that is fair.
But, it is Little Miss Social’s decision.
What would you do? Let it be her own decision regardless of the outcome or enforce the first come, first serve policy? I plan on getting both girls gifts - because the are both friends she sees frequently.
Tags: Birthday Parties, birthday-party-politicsRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Parties
8 opinions for Birthday Party Politics
Thrifty Karen
Sep 11, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Wow. Tough call. I wouldn’t want to go to “Jane’s” party either. I am not looking forward to birthday politics.
Aurelia
Sep 11, 2007 at 7:22 pm
1st off let me just say that I LOVE your blog…lol
That is a toughy. I am so with you and would love for LMS to go to Suzy’s party for the same reasons you mentioned and while I love it when kids make decisions on this one I think I would enforce the 1st come 1st served policy andif LMS got upset about itI would just explain that she already agree’d to attend and she was approached by Suzy 1st.
BTW - Did LMS already RSVP to Suzy’s party invite?
{{LMS has a busier social life than I do and I am 37…LOL}}
Neena
Sep 12, 2007 at 5:49 am
I have to say that I would put the pressure on to attend Suzy’s party. Lay it out to her like you did in this post. And more importantly, ask her how she would feel if the roles were reversed and she was in Suzy’s shoes. Usually kids know the right answer even if it is not the answer that they want. Ultimately, it should be her choice but you can voice your strong opinion.
Jeri
Sep 12, 2007 at 10:46 am
I agree with Neena. Knowing LMS, I am sure her heartstrings can be tugged in the right direction.
Gayla
Sep 13, 2007 at 8:06 am
I’ve been in similar situations before and always talk it through with my kids that when they make a promise, they should keep it. If she were invited by one and made the commitment, it should be the one she stands behind.
It’s really a good lesson though in learning that sometimes when we make promises, we need to follow through even when something better comes up. And to tell why she can’t attend as being she made a promise that she will keep is an action that you or anyone can’t help but respect.
char
Sep 13, 2007 at 9:41 am
Thanks for all the input! As it turns out, she can go to both parties. The first one (Suzy’s) is from 4:30-7:00 and Jane’s is a sleepover that starts at 6:00 - so she can go, but she will be late.
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Sep 17, 2007 at 11:12 am
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Rob at Kintropy
Sep 23, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Awh, man! I thought we were going to be done with the birthday politics after our son’s 4th birthday party. It keeps going?!?
I think the way you are handling it - a bit of a split decision & good communication are probably the best way to go.
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