Bullying
Anti-bullying initiatives have become a big priority for schools across the nation and our school is no different. Over the summer our school formed a group of administrators, teachers and parents to learn more about bullying and how to deal with it. They chose the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program to help guide our students in a safe, non-threatening school environment. Last night, at Freshman Parent Night, one of the parents shared some information about bullying with us and explained the program.
What is bullying?
High school wouldn’t be high school without the occasional dirty look or name calling. We’ve all seen it and most of us have done it. In the heat of the moment some nasty things can be said. But most of that is being a teenager, not bullying. So what is bullying?
A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself.
According to Olweus, there are three major parts to bullying. (1) It’s intentional and aggressive and involves unwanted, negative actions. (2) It is repeated over time (although it’s still important to act on serious and hurtful behavior from the first incident). (3) It involves a power balance. The person being bullying may be physically or emotionally weaker, may be bullied by many or may be bullied by anonymous sources.
Bullying isn’t just a mean kid beating up a little kid for lunch money. There are many different types of bullying. In fact, Olweus says there are nine specific forms of bullying:
- verbal bullying
- excluding or isolating someone
- physical bullying
- lying or starting false rumors about somebody
- taking or damaging somebody’s property or stealing/demanding money
- threatening or forcing somebody to do something
- racial bullying
- sexual bullying
- cyber-bulling (via the internet or even a cell phone)
So what should parents do if their child is being bullied?
- Never tell you child to ignore it. Ignoring it will not make it go away.
- Be a good listener. Just let him/her talk to you about it.
- Don’t blame your child. Your child likely didn’t do anything to provoke the bully.
- Don’t criticize the way your child dealt with it. He/she was just doing the best he/she knew how at the time.
- Think before you act. As parents we can be pretty protective, but stay calm and think about what to do next.
- Contact the school immediately to talk about your concerns and what the next steps are.
- Make sure you provide a safe and loving environment at home.
Anybody can be the victim of bullying. Kids in small schools. Kids in large schools. Boys. Girls. Sensitive kids. Confident kids. Don’t think your kid is immune. Instead educate yourself and your child. Talk to you child about what they can do to avoid bullying. Make sure they get involved. Encourage them to make new friends. Schools are doing what they can to prevent bullying, but parents needs to stay on top of it as well.
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POSTED IN: School Issues
2 opinions for Bullying
Lori aka "is it just me"
Aug 21, 2008 at 11:16 am
I was just talking about bullying this morning. As the mother of one of the smallest kids in the freshman class and it being his first year in the high school, I am VERY worried he may get bullied. My sister-in-law reminded me of many schools’ “no tolerance” policies on bullying these days and that hopefully they do monitor that. Already the first day of school I was asking, “did you have any trouble with the upper classmen that are in your classes?” because I want know about it right away. But I think he is well liked and has friends that are sophmores and I think even a couple juniors so I think that will help him from being isolated as someone who could be an easy target.
Sarah
Aug 25, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I’m sorry, but I find it absolutely ridiculous to say that it’s only bullying when the person is emotionally or physically weaker than the bully, or that they are unable to defend themselves. My daughter is overweight, and she is constantly made fun of. She’s been ganged up on, had a fight started, and has come home in tears. It even got to the point where she couldn’t concentrate on her schoolwork DURING class.
She’s thirteen.
But she is able to defend herself, and over time she’s grown more of a hard outer shell so the hateful babble doesn’t penetrate her heart. Now she can defend herself. Did that make the kids stop? No, it just made them try harder.
So if you’re telling me that it was only bullying when she was unable to defend herself, I’m telling you that you need to remove your head from the clouds and see what’s right in front of you.
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