Do You Ever Question Your Parenting Abilities?
This past weekend has got to have been one of the hardest weekends I think I have had as a parent in a long time. I’m not sure exactly what it was - I’m sure it was a bunch of stuff all at once - but all I could do all weekend was question and second guess my parenting skills.
Could it have been that my husband was out of town all last week? Could it be that my kids are starting to like different things? Could it have been that at least one child whined about every meal every day? Could it have been that everyone is ready for a break? Or could it have been that I am just too sensitive these days?
I felt like I did too much pouting and feeling sorry for myself this weekend rather than acknowledging the issues and facing them head on. I got to the point where I didn’t care what the kids wanted to do or said - I was just going to be mad - and I know that doesn’t solve or help anything.
What do you do when you are in a parenting funk? Any words of wisdom would be great right about now!!
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POSTED IN: Weary Parent
6 opinions for Do You Ever Question Your Parenting Abilities?
Angela
Dec 10, 2007 at 11:00 am
I question myself allot. The good news is that no matter what you do, your kids will blame you in therapy anyway ;o) Seriously, kids are a resilient group, and while no one is perfect, as long as you do your best most of the time, it will be ok, and you’ll be able to avoid jail time. Just kidding about jail. My 11 yo makes me crazy. Sometimes she is as sweet as they come. So thoughtful, giving, caring. Then she morphs into this insane narcissistic whiny b***h that I just don’t recognize. I think you do the best you can. One of the things that seems to have helped: her dance school adopted a refugee family through the Catholic Charities. This family has nothing, but what is given to them through the kindness of strangers. There is a mom, dad, 2 sisters (18 & 11), brother (14), and one of the sisters (18) just had a baby. I think working with this family has humbled her a little.
Douglas Karr
Dec 10, 2007 at 11:12 am
I question it every day… but I also make very clear with my kids that I’m far from perfect and could possibly be making a terrible decision. I stick by my guns, though. I think being firm and wrong is sometimes better than fuzzy and indecisive.
char
Dec 10, 2007 at 11:19 am
Angela - it sounds like my 9 year old and your 11 year old are very similar!! I have three kids and some days I just don’t feel like I can give each of them the quality attention they need - especially when one of them is being needier than the others.
Douglas - I definitely let my kids know I am not perfect either - thanks for your support!!
bill
Dec 10, 2007 at 5:38 pm
I set my standards at a basic level. When my daughter was about three, I’d say that my standard was ‘Is she naked? No? Then she’s dressed.’ If she cried, I’d run the checklist (Wet? Hungry? Tired?) and then just hold her and accept the idea that this is what kids do. Was I always successful? No. But you know what? She never complained.
feefifoto
Dec 11, 2007 at 6:15 pm
I put myself in time out. Ever since the kids were old enough not to fall against the coffee table and bleed copiously if I left the room, I’ve been able to lock myself in my room for a few minutes and come out just slightly refreshed. It’s kind of like a power nap.
Thrifty Karen
Dec 14, 2007 at 12:59 pm
I question myself all the time, especially with my oldest. She has a sensory disorder and has been more than a handful since birth. Now that we know what’s wrong with her we can help her more, but some days are almost unbearable! I constantly question how much of her bad attitude is her sensory issues and how much is just her being a brat. lol Then I question our discipline. Whether or not it’s a sensory issue bothering her or her own bad attitude, she has to learn that being disrespectful and hateful are not acceptable not matter how you feel. I don’t want her to learn to make excuses for herself. I’ve met too many kids that say, “Oh, I’m acting this way because I didn’t have my medication today.” or “I’m acting this way because I had too much sugar.” I want her to take responsibility for her actions rather than make excuses for them. Ok, sorry I got off on a tangent. lol
When I get into a parenting funk I sometimes feel bad about myself. I’ve found the best thing to do is just pray, pray, pray!!!!!
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