Does Your Tween Have Highlights?
Back when I was a tween, I remember the big thing was the girls getting their hair permed, but these days it seems that highlights, tints and extensions are all the rage with tweens, teens and adults.
My 9 year old daughter is becoming very fashion aware this year and spending a lot more time in front of the mirror, taking note of celeb styles, and caring what her friends are doing as well. At least twice this past year she has asked about getting her hair highlighted. I have always said no, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic!
If you have let your tween daughter get highlights, extensions or other hair treatments, how much do you allow? Do you pay for them or does your daughter? Do you do the treatments at home or in the salon? Do you feel pressured by your daughter to let her have them done?
If you don’t allow the treatments, I’d love to know why. Does your daughter want to get them done because her friends have them? Is there an age where you feel hair treatments are okay, or occasions where they are fine?
Up to this point I have always told my daughter no. I just feel like she has her whole adult life (and her own money then) to be creative with her hair. I get highlights put in my hair - but didn’t do so until I was in my late 20s. I might reconsider when she is in high school, but for now, I’d just like to keep her a little girl as long as I can.
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POSTED IN: Teen Fashions
21 opinions for Does Your Tween Have Highlights?
Wendy Piersall
Mar 14, 2008 at 9:53 am
I have given her highlights in the past - and even tried to give her a blond/brown haircolor like Jamie Lynn Spears in her Nickelodeon show - but that was a disaster and I had to pull her out of school for a day so I could fix it. :P
Thrifty Karen
Mar 14, 2008 at 9:55 am
Goodness, there is a lot of pressure on tweens today. We have some 12 and 13 year old girls at church that have dyed their hair numerous times, gotten highlights, and such. One girl even got blue highlights.
I probably won’t allow my daughter to go to such an extent. It’s easy now to say I won’t, because she’s only 4, but more than likely I won’t be changing my mind.
Tracee Sioux
Mar 14, 2008 at 10:10 am
I enjoy playing with my own hair. Some colors I we’ve done in the past have included red, brown, blond and pink.
Usually, I’m getting a new color in my hair and my 6 year old asks if she can have it too.
I can’t think of a reason why not. I make sure not to violate school rules so we used more daring colors before school started and during summers. She currently has blond highlights.
But then my baby boy has a mohawk too.
It’s just fun.
Kelly
Mar 14, 2008 at 10:29 am
I don’t see a problem with it, other than the expense involved (unless you do it at home yourself) as long as it’s in semi-natural colors like blonde or red. A couple of years ago when my daughter was 9, we had a wedding to go to. It just happened to be time for me to get my roots done, so we had a girl day and went to the salon. I let her get blonde highlights that day. She hasn’t shown any interest since, but if she wanted them I’d do it for her at home.
Michelle
Mar 14, 2008 at 3:31 pm
My daughter is now a teen, but when she was 11 we put some bright crayon-red highlights in her hair. She is very creative and doing something like that fit her personality. Now she wears her hair very dark. I also have a 9 year old and I don’t do anything like that with her hair - it’s long, dark, and straight.
Aurelia
Mar 14, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Yes, I’ve allowed Isreal as a pre-teen and now as a teen to get highlights. Usually we pay 1/2 and 1/2 but now that she is 16 and working part time she pays for it all. Isreal is very expressive in her dress, hair and style and she loves her fashion statment and I love that she expresses herself WHILE still covering all important parts - so, to me, if she want hightlights or another color - I’m all for it. Here is a recent pic taken of her after her last color change (about 2 weeks ago) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v16/Aurelia/IsrealRed.jpg
jewelgirl
Mar 14, 2008 at 5:24 pm
My tween has been asking. I think your
better off experimenting now now before
she gets alot older. The reds and blues
are not highlights that would be okay
if he has a job in the public eye, unless
of course she’s a pop star!
Neena (NeenMachine)
Mar 14, 2008 at 5:49 pm
My tween happens to be a boy - and even he has brought up the idea for his own hair, which I immediately nixed. I tell him when his hair turns gray…. My daughter is still in preschool but when she is a tween my answer will be the same.
PlanningQueen
Mar 14, 2008 at 9:28 pm
My tween is also a boy and the thought has even entered his head, but I am with Neena, if it does come up it will not be something that I would allow at this age. The pressure to be something thet your not starts so young now, and it may seem like it is only changing the colour of your hair, but then what comes next? What else do they change about themselves? I would like my children to accept themselves 100% for what they are at this early age in their life.
Tracee Sioux
Mar 15, 2008 at 6:49 am
I think letting them change this thing about themselves allows them to express themselves, try on new aspects of their personalities and explore their own sense of self without permanent consequences.
The good thing about hair is that there is nothing permanent about it. It grows back in its original form - always. There is plenty of room to allow them to experience regret. Hair is a safe ground for experimentation.
Unless they are Boys - by the time they’re allowed to be experimental with their own style or sense of self when they grow up - well, they might be on their way to balding! poor souls. JK
Gayla McCord
Mar 15, 2008 at 8:06 am
I think it’s a great bribe option. Even with the boys, they’ve liked getting tips or fades from time to time. I don’t make them “pay for it” so much as I make them earn it.
At the beginning of school I had one with brown hair and dramatic highlights while the other has blonde hair and went with a dark sable dramatic fade. It really did look very nice.
With my husbands daughter, we had a tri-color highlight and lowlight done and it looked Beautiful!
I’ve always been a big “hair” person and having taken such interest in the style and color of my own (I also do the tri-color highlight and lowlights) I can’t as easily tell my kids no. Especially when there are so many kids who take NO interest in their appearance. I’m glad mine do.
I think 11 or 12 is a pretty good age to start with that IF they are interested - if not, I wouldn’t mention it.
Angela
Mar 15, 2008 at 4:12 pm
My 11 yo girl gets to put funky highlights (pink, blue, etc) in the summer time, and when school rolls back around we put more natural looking colors in to replace them. My husband pays for it for both of us (mine are more natural colors). Kids don’t get to control a whole lot in their lives, (at least mine doesn’t!) so I let her have her freedom here.
alyssa
Mar 16, 2008 at 10:43 am
what is the best color to give my child highlights she is a mexican/black.
Angela
Mar 16, 2008 at 2:04 pm
My friend is of dark Arab descent, and she has to have the natural color of her hair removed in order for the “funky” colors to stand out. My girl has light brown hair and we have to do the same thing if she wants really bright colors. If your child is really young, you might want to consider a few extensions instead of the harsh chemicals.
Jesse D
Mar 17, 2008 at 5:53 am
Hmmm … my nine y.o. had head lice for two years in a row. We both ended up cutting our waist-length hair to really short crops to get rid of it, as traditional remedies weren’t working (NIX, RID, prescription shampoos, vacuuming, spraying, etc etc NOTHING worked). So we both cut our hair short - BOY short. As long as she has boy-short hair, she’s allowed to have it any and I mean ANY color she wants. We’ve done pink, red, purple and blue. The school protested, but I had a conversation with the principal about how the school refused to do class head-checks THREE times after I called to let them know, they haven’t said a word. As long as she keeps her hair short and low-maintenance, she can have whatever color she wants - I’ll even do “stripes” LOL
Jennie
Mar 19, 2008 at 11:15 am
My child is 11. I let her get highlights whenever her old ones fade. I am totally with letting her express herself. If she dies it a color she doesn’t like, it was her decision. It may sound mean, but it keeps her from doing anything she will regret.
aRRoGaNcE
Mar 20, 2008 at 7:47 am
It doesn’t matter only because it should be the right kind of hair product.
We have black hair so it’s hard to find the right product for African-American hair.
But yes I would allow it but it can’t make her hair fall out or anything.
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Kathy
May 1, 2008 at 4:26 pm
I just highlighted my 12-year-old daughter’s hair last week. It was light brown to start out with and when we got finnished, the highlights looked nice and natural. If she wants highlights, do a color close to her natural color, but a little lighter. It will look perfect for summer!
vet
Aug 20, 2008 at 5:31 pm
My 10 year old has been asking me for highlights-way too young in my opinion. I told her she could have them if she paid for them-that took care of it. I can’t believe the things that girls have to go through at school-wait-I guess I can after seeing some of the Moms at the school my daughter attends. No wonder we have so many problems with our youth.
Cheryl
Aug 29, 2008 at 10:55 am
I think its a grate way for them to express themself. I let my 16 year old die her hair and my 14 year old started asking when she was 10, I let he die her hair twice but now she wants streaks done. My sister is willing to do it at her home because she thinks it will look grate on her. I personaly don’t think she should get it done but its her choice she will do it sooner or later and I prefer her to do it sooner. I say let them do it if they pay for it, or they can forget it.
Sarah Singer
Sep 12, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I cannot believe how many young girls are getting all of these harsh chemical processes done! I am a 22 year old hairstylist and I feel so uncomfortable when I see such a young pretty 11 year old girl in the chair next to me getting blonde highlights! I think they should wait until high school at least! Little girls are losing their youth younger and younger…I suggest adding in a couple of fun extensions for sure. Ps. as far as perms, they are far more damaging than color in most cases.
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