Weary Parent: Parenting Tweens & Teens

Listen to your Kids

by char on April 26th, 2007

There are days when I seriously question my parenting skills! Sometimes it has to do with giving my kids too much attention (aka making their decisions for them) and other times it is not giving them enough. Sometimes I am a great listener and sometimes I wonder what my kids think of me.

The one thing I never want to do is close down the lines of communication with my kids. I want them to feel comfortable talking with me. I want to be able to help them make their own good decisions, by guiding them and giving them the tools and self confidence to think on their own.

Often times my son with mumble something to me and when I ask him to repeat himself, he says, “oh nevermind.” Afraid that he will mistake my request for a repeat as anything other that what it was - a request because I didn’t hear him - I am careful to state, “what you have to say is important, I just didn’t hear you” first and then ask him to say it again.

Rory at Hamelife has quite a few posts on parent/child communication lately. His post called “I will never ask for help again” is a stunning reminder to us as to why we need to listen to our children and let them know their opinion counts from an early age.  Another post -  Criticism - How Can Parents Make it Easier for Kids to Swallow is not only applicable to how we give children criticism, but how to communicate those thoughts to our spouses and others.

Another great resource article is from the University of Florida and called Active Listening. It outlines the features of active listening and gives some solid tips on implementing this communication technique.  The main points being asking questions, paraphrasing, and empathizing.

Think about how you want your own ideas to be received - I’d bet your children feel about the same way.

Share This

Related Stories

Heavy Metal Makes My Ears Bleed
Parenting Quotes for January ( January 10th)
Children Will Not Remember
How to Respond to a Teenage Angst and Live to Smile About It by Christina
Advice for Teens

POSTED IN: Communication