Teaching Tweens and Teens How to Break the Ice
We have survived the first week of school and everyone seems to be happy so far. My only concern is that every day I have asked my son who he sat next to at lunch and he says no one. He doesn’t seem too concerned about it, but he is shy and hates to talk to anyone he doesn’t know. I asked him if he has made any new friends, and again the answer is “no.” He knows a few kids at the school - but they are all girls.
Back when he was in Kindergarten I remember having a similar conversation with him. I asked him if he had any made any friends at school and for the first few days the answer was “no.” Then one day he day he told me that the school bus went down the next street over. He then went on to say that the boy with the Hot Wheels shoes lived there. On further questioning I was able to figure out that he had made friends with another boy in the class who always wore tennis shoes with Hot Wheels on them. The shoes showed my son that his friend liked cars - a common interest.
It was another few weeks before my son was able to identify the “boy with the Hot Wheels shoes” by his real name. They became best friends all the way through Elementary School. They go to different schools now and my son has to start this process over.
This morning while I drove him to school, I reminded my son of this story. I gave him a challenge for today. I asked him to try to talk to one new person today. When he asked, “who?”, I replied - look for someone that looks like you - someone wearing a shirt with something on it that you like. Ask someone who their favorite football team is. Or ask them what sports they like.
I know it is just a matter of time and my son will find a group of friends at his new school, but a lot of times I just don’t think he knows how to get the conversation started.
All you experienced parents and teachers out there, do you have any additional tips?
Oh, I’d like to share two other related posts with you!
- SuperNanny Rules author Gayla is dealing with some similar issues with her kids - Teens, Challenges at School and Verbal Warfare
- Gayle at Parenting Teens shares some information from the National PTA on getting parents involved in their child’s school.
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POSTED IN: School Issues
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