Turning Your Teen in to the Police
If you knew your child committed a crime would you turn him/her in to the police? That’s exactly what one mother did in Wisconsin. When she saw a news report with video footage of her son and his friends, she called the police. The boys robbed a man, stealing his cash and credit card. Then they used the card to buy themselves food at a restaurant. They were acting suspicious at the restaurant where they were caught on tape.
I’ve heard several opinions on this from “heck yes I’d turn in my kid” to “oh no, in fact I’d hide him because it’s my job to protect him.” I’m more on the turn him in side. If you do the crime you do the time. We aren’t doing our kids any favors by protecting them rather than letting them face the consequences of their choices.
From a very early age we see what the effect of us “giving in” has on our kids. It seems easier to give up and let them go to their friends house rather than listening to them whine about being grounded, but in the long run it’s not the easy option. When you stay firm to your beliefs and punishments kids will learn to respect that. As adults if we let get away with a crime how do we expect them to not do it again. A lot of criminals start out with small things like stealing from their mother’s purse or something small from a store. When they don’t get caught they often move on to bigger things and more sever crimes. Is that really what you want for your child?
If I saw one of my kids on the news as a wanted criminal (I shudder at the thought) my first call likely wouldn’t be the police. It would be to our lawyer so he could turn himself in with the help of the lawyer. But he sure as heck would be facing the jury (pun intended) and taking whatever punshiment the judge handed down to him. I hope I’ve raised my children well enough that we never have to face this situation, but if it does happen there are no free rides just because they are the fruit of my loins.
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POSTED IN: Weary Parent
5 opinions for Turning Your Teen in to the Police
Virtual Coach | Turning children and teens in to the police - heck yes.
Apr 12, 2008 at 12:21 am
[…] I’ve heard several opinions on this from “heck yes I’d turn in my kid” to “oh no, in fact I’d hide him because it’s my job to protect him.” I’m more on the turn him in side. If you do the crime you do the time. We aren’t doing our kids any favors by protecting them rather than letting them face the consequences of their choices ….MORE…. […]
Angela
Apr 12, 2008 at 8:06 am
I hope I never have to make this decision, but I would turn them in after consulting with an attorney. We have rules, and consequences for breaking the rules, and we follow through. Hopefully that will keep our family from ever having to make this choice. I don’t envy or admire this mom for having to make this decision, but I do applaud her.
Terry
Apr 12, 2008 at 9:03 pm
This is a parent’s nightmare. I did not have to turn my son in but he was arrested twice for DUI’s. Since he had been in trouble several times before this, resulting in family counseling,lawyer fees and probation, my husband and I had joined the “tough love’” parent support group, and following their suggestion we decided to leave him in jail, no bail, and let him face the consequences. He was furious at us. He was 19, a really smart boy, making really dumb choices. I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I spent and the amount of pain I felt. He went to jail for 6 mos. It scared him straight as they say and today he is a good citizen and going to fire fighter academy. He will tell you ” I was a jerk, and I don’t know why”. I’m very proud of him today - he is a wonderful thoughtful son and never held a grudge about us leaving him in jail.
Now I have a nephew who took the same path, but his mother has bailed him out over and over and OVER. She thinks she is helping him by keeping him out of jail, but his behavior is getting worse. Alcohol, drugs and fighting. Numerous arrests, two felonies and he doesn’t think he has a problem. I have tried to get her to “let go” and let him suffer the consequences - she won’t do it. Our family is afraid he will either kill himself or an innocent person
You can over protect your kid and cause them more damage in the long run.
Denise
Apr 14, 2008 at 4:00 am
I agree with you Christine, protecting the kid from the police isn’t what he/she needs. Protecting him/her from themselves by teaching a valuable lesson now should work much better.
Louise
Sep 17, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Our teen son went completely wild on us. He rejected our parental authority and guidance. It seemed like he threw out all the good morals and training we gave him. Who would have thought our good little cub scout would turn criminal on us? I never wanted law enforcement to be involved in dealing with my son. I considered it my job only. I didn’t want to be a burden on the tax payers or be a burden on society. After trying everything we could, it became clear to my husband and I that our son needed “three hots and a cot”. I found loot under his bed and drove it down to the PD. The officers were caring and helpful. One said, “This is just as important to me as it is to you.” Their support then and in the following months meant the world to me. It was very painful to see my son in handcuffs but it was the best thing that happened. He is clean and sober and on formal probation. When a child is going 100 miles per hour down the wrong road, you must throw everything you can in that path to cause them to stop and turn around. Law enforcement is there to help you. My son being a law abiding free citizen is more important to me than my personal relationship with him. Someday he will understand. Do whatever it takes. There are many people in prison with mommas who love them. Love is not enough. Don’t be an “enabler”.
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